How does one
become a better person?
I remember when I was studying in university; I didn’t like
myself very much. I was rude, selfish, emotionally stingy, self-centered,
judgmental, highly critical, very obnoxious, and arrogant.
When I think back about it, a lot of that came from
insecurity with me – a lack of self-esteem. I didn’t like myself, and this
projected in my behavior toward others. I was dissatisfied with things about
me, and hence I was dissatisfied with things about other people.
Subsequently, I decided to work on becoming a better person.
I didn’t like who I was becoming and I wanted to change that. After all, it’s
quite miserable to live a life of self-hate. They say misery loves company, but
I think the company misery attracts is self-debilitating in nature. It only
makes you more and more unhappy, and no sooner turns you into a wrenched sight.
Not a pretty vision, I think.
Today, I’m a lot happier with who I am. I can’t say that I’m
perfect or that I’ve achieved my ideal persona, because there’s still so much
I’ve to work on. I also think that becoming a better person is an ongoing goal
to be worked on, and there’s never a real end point to reach.
In this massive list post I share with you 101 ways to be
a better person. If you just follow a tip a day, you’ll go a long way toward becoming a
better, more likable, person. Remember this isn’t about making yourself
liked by others – but about becoming someone you truly love and adore, which
will in turn attract the right people and opportunities into your life.
Here goes:
1. Commit yourself to growth (Be Growth-oriented).
The more you grow, the better you become. I committed myself to a lifetime of
growth back in 2006 (when I discovered my purpose), and I’ve never looked back
ever since.
2. Work on your negative traits. Are there any traits you dislike about yourself?
Some traits which I didn’t like about myself in the past include being
self-centered, arrogance, selfishness, critical, harshness, hardness, etc. Identify them, then work on them one at a go. It
can be challenging to try to overhaul your character at one go. On the other
hand, if you work on addressing 1 negative trait at a time, it’s a lot more
manageable and achievable.
3. Identify your ideal persona. What’s your ideal
self like? Picture him/her in your mind, and then write down all the traits of
your ideal persona. Then, start living true to your ideal self.
4. Find a role model. Having a role model gives us a
concrete image of who we want to become. I see role models in people like Ellen
Degeneres (for her genuineness and compassion toward others), Tyra Banks (for
not being afraid to stand up for what she believes in, and inspiring women to
do the same), Ivanka Trump (for her beauty, intellect and grace – representing
the modern day woman), Oprah (for being a power mover in the world of
self-help), among others. Who is/are your role model(s), and what do you like
about them?
5. Be a role model. The
best way to be a better person is to be a role model to others. How can
you be an inspirational guide to others? Live by example. In being a role
model, remember it’s not about making yourself into someone you’re not. It’s about living true to your ideal self
(see #3).
6. Be a better child to your parents. You only have 2 parents in your life, so
appreciate the time you have with them. If your relationship with your parents
is non-ideal, it doesn’t mean that everything ends here. I used to have a very
poor relationship with my parents, until I achieved resolution recently. Read:
How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents
7. Be a better friend to your friends. I used to be
disappointed at how some of my friends aren’t always there for me when I need
them, then I realized that I should think about how I can be a better friend to
my friends first before making such expectations of others. Likewise for you,
think: How can you be a better friend to your friends? Read: How to Have More
Best Friends in Life
8. Be a better sibling, if you have siblings. I’ve
several friends who are the only-child, and they frequently talk about how they
wish they had a brother or sister. If you’re lucky
enough to have brother(s) and sister(s), treasure them. Spend more time with
them; Show them care and concern; Look out for them if you need to.
9. Be a better partner, if you’re attached. If you’ve
a girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband, think about how you can be a better
partner to him/her. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to make demands
and expectations about what your partner should do/be, but it’s difficult to
take ownership for the things we aren’t doing/being ourselves. Commit yourself
to being a better partner, and release your expectations of your partner. Both
of you will be happier that way.
10. Be a better parent, if you have children. Many
parents have told me that having a child one of the most amazing things that
have ever happened to them. If you have a child(ren), think about how you can
be a better parent, without impeding on the child’s growth. Raising a child can
be challenging especially as he/she enters adolescence years, but that’s also
part of the joy of being a parent.
11. Be a better employee in your company (if you work
for someone). Often times, I hear people complain about how their companies are
not giving them enough benefits/wages/support/etc. While this may be true, think about how you can be a better employee instead.
Check if there’s anything more you can do for your manager. See if there are
any new projects you can take on. See how you can improve your current
performance.
12. Be a better manager/leader (if you’re managing
others). Many people leave their jobs because they’re unhappy with their
managers. How well you manage your employees can dramatically affect their
motivation levels and their performance. Put their needs before yours and bring
the best out of them.
13. Be a better member of your community. What
communities are you a part of? Say, interest groups? Recreational clubs? How
can you be a more active part of the communities?
14. Be a better human to others. How can you treat
the fellow humans around you better? Start treating them this way.
15. Be a better being in this world. How can you make
the world a better place? Start doing that today.
16. Be Able. Equip yourself with skills. Your skills
are like the tools in your toolbox. The more skills you have, the more able you
become.
Learn something new.
There are always new things to learn, no matter how much you already know. The
more you learn the better you become. Read: Skills Development
Hone your current skills.
With your current skills, strengthen them. You can never be too good at a skill
– there’s always room to improve. Even the best people in their fields, such as
Tiger Woods (Golf), Michael Jordan (Basketball), and Beethoven (Pianist) never
stopped honing their craft. Read: Leveling Up
17. Be Accepting of differences – be it different people,
different thinking, different lifestyles, different cultures. For they add
variety and color into our lives. If everyone is the same, life will be bland –
monotonous, even.
18. Be Adaptable / Flexible / Versatile. Have your goals and
plans, but be able to change them accordingly when the situation calls for it.
Rigidity is a sign of weakness, while adaptability makes you so much more
powerful.
19. Be Adventurous.
Step out of your comfort zone. Are you sticking to the same
routines and hiding behind a safety net? Step out and do something you’ve never
done before. It’ll broaden your mind and make you a better person.
Travel. Traveling broadens
perspectives and widens horizons. Since June 2011, I’ve been touring the
world, starting with Europe and I’m gaining so many insights about different
cultures that it’s amazing. The trip has
definitely enriched my perspective on the world.
20. Be Altruistic.
Always have the best intentions for others. Go for the
highest good in everything you do, every decision you make, every path you
take, every thought you have.
Volunteer (for a cause you believe in). Not everything has
to be measured in money. At PE, I spend hours every day writing the best
content and giving it away for free, without asking anything back in return
from the readers. With volunteer work, you may be giving your labor for free,
but this is time spent in good stead. Don’t underestimate the kind of
difference you can make in others’ lives with just a few hours of work.
Save the environment. Our world is being wasted away, day
after day, with the harm the society at large is inflicting on it. What can you
do to protect our home?
21. Be Assertive. Stand
up for your rights and things you believe in.
22. Be Attentive. When someone is talking, give
him/her your full attention. Don’t busy yourself with something else; that’s
just rude and inconsiderate.
23. Be Bold. Life is an adventure – don’t live it in
fear. Boldly pursue your dreams. Boldly act on your instincts. Boldly create
the life you’ve always wanted. Read: How To Overcome Fear and Pursue Your
Dreams
24. Be Candid. Be frank, be outspoken, and be
earnest. Say what’s on your mind – Don’t feel the need to censor your words
because you’re afraid of what others think. Be true to yourself. (But not at
the expense of others’ feelings, of course – See #39 on Be Empathetic.)
25. Be Caring.
Show concern. There’s no need to
wait for a cry for help before showing your care and concern. You can do
it right away, right now, to those around you. Even if there’s nothing wrong,
it’ll warm the hearts of others to know that you cared.
Call your friends. Are there any friends you’ve not
contacted for a while? Call them today and check on how they’re doing. They may
not show it, but they’ll be happy that you called – because it showed you
cared.
26. Be Coachable. There’s
always something we can learn from everyone, no matter his/her age, background
or area of expertise. Don’t close off on opportunities to learn just
because you think you know enough. Open your mind and let every encounter be a
learning lesson. The moment you close yourself off is the point where you stop
learning.
Find a mentor. A mentor guides you to become greater than you can be by yourself.
You should only get a mentor if (a) the person has something to teach you (b)
your personalities gel with each other. Back when I was working in P&G, I
had informal mentors who often stepped in to make sure I was doing well.
At the same time, they themselves had mentors who guided them. No matter how
senior or experienced you may be, there’s always someone who has something to
teach you.
27. Be Committed… to your goals and dreams. If you’ve
set a goal, go all out and achieve it. If you’ve laid down a plan, stick to it
all through the way. Don’t waver, for that’s not in you to do so.
28. Be Compassionate / Kind. Always look out for
opportunities where you can help others. Don’t get caught up in your own
space – instead, look outwards and see if there’s anything you can do for
others. Even the simplest things, like helping someone carry his/her
belongings, is very much appreciated by others.
29. Be Confident… in who you are and what you do.
There’s no reason not to be. Read: How to Be the Most Confident Person in the
World
30. Be Conscientious / Meticulous. Are you attentive to
everything you do? Such a quality is rare, but so precious. Conscientious people put their heart and soul to what
they do; consequently they do a complete and thorough job in whatever
they do. You’ll naturally be a valuable asset to whichever organization or team
you’re a part of.
31. Be Considerate / Thoughtful. Make a habit to consider
others in your decisions and actions, for they affect other people. Make
sure no one is negatively affected before you proceed with your plans.
Practice the Golden Rule. It’s the ethic of reciprocity,
which states “One should treat others as one would
like others to treat oneself”. How do you want others to treat you? Shower
others with this behavior, and you’ll attract more of the same.
Practice the Silver Rule. Related to the Golden Rule, it
states “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you”. It’s
to make up for the shortcomings of the Golden Rule. How do you not want others
to treat you? Make sure you don’t do this to others.
32. Be Cooperative. Don’t be insular and seclusive.
Be willing to work with others if they need your help. We
do not exist in this world alone; Life is possible because we have each other.
33. Be Courteous. Practice good etiquette. Always
remember your “hi”s, “bye”s, “thank you”s and “welcome”s.
34. Be Courageous / Overcome Fear. Is there anything
you’re scared of? Don’t be. Fear is mental – It’s only what you perceive it to
be. If you challenge that which you’re afraid of, you’ll realize there’s
nothing to be scared of at all, because there is nothing to lose – We entered
this world with nothing but our consciousness, we’ll leave the world with the
same consciousness. Read: How to Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams | How to
Overcome Fear (Series)
35. Be Curious.
Have an insatiable thirst for
knowledge. So you’ll always be learning new things.
Ask questions – often. The more
questions you ask, the more information you can uncover.
Get feedback from others. Feedback is one of the fastest
ways to identify areas of improvement, since others can see our blind spots.
Day 17 of Be a Better Me in 30 Days Program is about asking for feedback from
others around us so we can improve.
36. Be Dependable. Be there for others when they need
you. Always check if there’s anything you can do for your friends. If they call
you, make time out for them. If they email you, take the time to respond. You
never know when it’s someone in pain and reaching out for help. Read: How To
Have More Best Friends in Life
37. Be Discerning. Don’t
blindly accept everything you hear or read; always evaluate what you’re
given with a discerning mind. This doesn’t mean you become skeptical; but
rather you exercise your judgment appropriately.
38. Be Emotionally Generous. Emotional stinginess
means to be stingy with your emotions, while emotional generosity is to be
generous. So, an emotionally stingy person is typically negative, unhappy,
critical, judging, imposing; while an emotionally generous person is positive,
happy, encouraging, supportive, etc. Be as giving with your emotions as
possible. Encourage others. Be positive. Share happiness. Read: Are You
Emotionally Generous? Compliment others (with genuine intent). Part of
emotional generosity is to be generous with compliments (that’s genuine and not
fake). Get into the habit of giving compliments. When you meet someone and if
you recognize something nice about him/her, let him/her know. You’ll make
his/her day.
39. Be Empathetic. Empathy is the key to successful
relationships. Learn to see things from others’ perspective. It’ll let you
understand people better, resolve conflicts, and develop meaningful
connections.
40. Be Encouraging. No one likes a wet blanket. Be
encouraging when your friends share their problems with you. Be supportive when
they tell you about their goals.
41. Be Enthusiastic. Life is too beautiful to live
dread and boredom. Embrace every day with joy and love. Start every day on a
fresh new start! Approach every situation with excitement! And bring this
energy to everything you do and everyone you meet.
42. Aim for Excellence.
Take on more than you can handle. If you’re managing your
responsibilities fine at the moment, challenge yourself by taking on more. If
you’re always doing the same things, you’ll never develop anything. You’ll no
sooner atrophy in your growth. Take on more work. Push your boundaries. Stretch
yourself. This way you increase your capacity.
Expect nothing less than the
best. Hold yourself to the highest standard in whatever you do. Always
aim for the highest goals, the best results, and the grandest vision.
Live your life to the fullest. Because why should you settle
for a life that’s anything less? Read: 101 Ways to Live Your Life To The
Fullest
43. Be Fair.
Don’t bad mouth other people.
Don’t speak ill of people behind their back, because it’s unfair to them and
doesn’t give them a chance to defend themselves. Let the person know if you
don’t like something he/she did, or otherwise make peace with it within
yourself.
Don’t discriminate. Give equal treatment to everyone,
regardless of race, language, religion, nationality, gender, age, social
status, financial status.
Don’t judge. Don’t make
conclusions about others’ character of their life based on 1-2 things you see
about them. Always give others the benefit of the doubt.
Uphold justice. If you see unfairness being exacted, step in
to right the wrong. This includes intervening when someone is being bullied, or
standing up for someone when he/she is being unfairly judged.
44. Have Faith. Don’t put too much pressure on an
event or a person to give you the results you seek. Do your best within your
capacity, and have faith that everything will fall into place.
45. Be Filial. Our
parents have dedicated half of their lives to having us and raising us. Now
that we’re grown up, it’s our turn to repay them for the life they have given
us. If your relationship with your parents is not the ideal state you
envision, be sure to read How to Improve Your Relationship with Your Parents
(Series)
46. Be a Follower. Aristotle said it best with this quote:
”He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.” Are you a good
follower? Are you able to take directions from others? Are you willing to take
directions from others? Before you think about becoming a leader (see #60),
you’ve to learn to be a good follower first.
47. Be Forgiving.
Let go of your anger. Is there anything or anyone you’re
angry with? Perhaps it’s time to give it/him/her and let things go.
Bury the hatchet with someone. Beyond embracing forgiveness
inside you, reach out to the person you had grievances with in the past. This is not going to be easy, but it’ll bring
you a huge step forward in your growth. When I was younger, I had some
conflicts with schoolmates here and there, due to misunderstandings. After I
started PE, I decided I had to live by example if I was to pursue my purpose to
help others how to achieve their highest potential. So, I reconnected with old
schoolmates whom I had conflicts with. It was much easier than I thought – most
of them reciprocated in kind, and after that we stayed connected as friends.
Read: Be a Better Me in 30 Days Program, Day 24 – Right a Past Wrong
48. Be Friendly / Approachable. We are all humans, here
to connect with one another. If you see someone you don’t know, take the
first step to know him/her. With people you know, keep yourself accessible so
they can approach you whenever they need help. Read: 10 Tips To Make New
Friends
49. Be Generous. Find joy
in giving. Remember life is not a zero sum game. By giving, you get to gain
even more. By giving, you open the channel to receive new things in life.
When people experience the beauty of giving, they’d want to give back too, so
what goes around, comes around.
Share the good things in your life. What are you happy for?
What do you have that others don’t have? What are you proud of? Don’t keep them
to yourself – Share them with others. Happiness isn’t a zero sum equation.
Donate. Get in the habit of donating things you don’t need any
more. For example, old clothes, textbooks, books, toys, and the like. All my
unwanted clothes are always donated to others. Sometimes I take the nice,
unworn pieces and give them to my friends who can better appreciate them.
50. Be Gentle. Our society has brought out a very
“hard” side in all of us – one where we’re abrasive, one where we’re hard and
one where we’re demanding. Bring out the gentle side in you for a change. It’ll
make you a warmer person to be around.
51. Be Grateful. For the good things you have,
because not everyone gets to have them. For the bad things you have as well, because
they strengthen your character and make you appreciate everything so much more.
Write a thank you note to a friend. I think a lot of times;
we take our friends for granted. We forget about what they’ve done for us and
are doing for us, as well as the value of our connection. Write a thank you
letter/note/email to a friend and let him/her know how much you appreciate
him/her. He/she will be very happy to receive your letter.
52. Be Hardworking / Diligent. Without hard work, we can’t wish to get far in life.
I’ve seen people who like to take the easy way out, and this is not what I
promote at PE. There are no “quick tips” or “hacks” that will give you
instantaneous results – at the end; it boils down to sheer, hard work.
53. Be Helpful. Offer your help even if people don’t ask for
it. There’s always something you can do for others.
54. Be Honest. To lie is to shrink into a lesser
self; To tell the truth would be take a step up in your growth. (Unless there’s
a higher value at stake, such as protecting someone’s well-being.) One of my
values is truth – To discover the truth via personal experience and constantly
challenging what’s around me, and to be truthful in everything I do and say. I
don’t achieve this 100% of the time, but I do my best to uphold it every moment
of the day. Read: How To Deal With Dishonest People
55. Be Humble. People who are arrogant tend to suffer
from an inferiority complex, which is why they feel the need to parade their
accomplishments. Learn to be humble. There’s no need to talk about what you’ve
achieved – if they’re really good, the results will speak for themselves.
56. Be Independent. Learn to manage your life. Learn
to tackle your problems by yourself, without imposing on others. Feel free to
approach others if you need help, but you should never expect them to solve
your problems for you.
57. Be Individualistic. Always
be you – don’t try to be anyone else.
58. Have Integrity. Set your moral and ethical
principles and stick to them. Never compromise on them no matter what.
59. Be Intuitive. Follow your gut instinct. Let your
intuition guide you. You’ll never go wrong with it. The more you follow your
gut, the stronger your connection with your intuition will be.
60. Be a Leader. A leader is someone who is able to
bring the best out of others, who is able to inspire others to be bigger than
who they are, who is able to energize people into action, who is able to lead a
way with a common vision. Contrary to what many think, leadership doesn’t begin
when you lead a group of people; it begins in our everyday life, with how we
conduct ourselves and how we live our lives. Are you a leader of your life?
Read: You Are the CEO of Your Life
61. Be a Listener. The ability to listen is quite
underrated in our society today. Many people are good at talking, but not
listening. For today, make a point to listen to what others around you are
saying. Ask questions. Clarify their answers. You may discover new things you
didn’t know before. If you own a copy of Personal Excellence Book (Volume 2),
be sure to check out 13 Tips To Be a Better Listener article on how you can be
a better listener.
62. Embrace Love. Be a beacon of love. Start by
loving everyone around you. Show love to your friends, family, partner,
colleagues, bosses, clients, teachers, etc – whether explicitly or implicitly.
Love unconditionally. The highest form of love is
unconditional love, where you love others without expecting anything in return.
63. Be Loyal / Faithful. To the people that you care
for, to the values that you stand for, to the things that you believe in. In
the article Discover Your Values in Personal Excellence Book (Volume 1), I
share in detail about values: the importance of values, my values and how you
can create your own.
64. Be Kind.
Don’t criticize. It’s
easy to pinpoint faults in others, but really, it’s not in our place to do so.
Not only that, it doesn’t make others feel good about themselves.
65. Be Magnanimous. For everything that people do you
wrong, be ready to forgive and forget.
Accept criticism. If someone offers criticism, accept it.
Accepting isn’t the same as agreeing. You don’t have to agree with the
criticism, but at least give yourself the opportunity to consider it. Every
criticism is an opportunity to improve, to become better. Read: 8 Helpful Ways
To Deal With Critical People
Ignore malicious attacks. If someone flames you, take the
higher route – ignore the person. You can defend yourself on areas where your
values are infringed, but overall, keep a hands-off approach. It’s not worth it
to engage in such discussions, because the flamer will only keep attacking,
with no desire to achieve a resolution.
66. Be Meditative. Those
who meditate will know that meditation cultivates an inner peace within you.
It makes you calmer and connects you with your inner self. Read: 10 Reasons You
Should Meditate | How to Meditate in 5 Simple Steps
67. Be Merciful. Instead of punishment, think forgiveness.
Forceful actions – Pain, suffering, death, etc don’t bring closure to issues.
68. Be Moral. Do what’s right over what’s wrong. The
question of “what’s right” can be subjective depending on your upbringing, but
universal values include equality of humans, gender equality, freedom of
speech, freedom of choice, etc.
Go the non-cruel path. I commit myself to a vegan lifestyle
because I didn’t want to harm animals. While you don’t have to turn
vegetarian/vegan for this purpose, think about how you can follow a lifestyle
that inflicts less pain to other living beings.
69. Be Mindful / Present. Don’t live in the past or
future, but focus on the present moment. For this is where you’re living at
now. Meditating helps you to be present (see #66).
70. Be Nurturing. There’s always ability in everyone.
How can you nurture it out of each person?
Recognize the strengths in others. Our society today has
eased into a state where we keep looking at what we lack or don’t have, as
opposed to what we already have. The former is a scarcity mindset, while the
latter is one of abundance. Rather than think about what’s missing in someone
(be in character trait, knowledge, ability, etc), focus on his/her strengths.
What does she/he have? What is he/she good at? What do you like about him/her?
Focus on these vs. what you don’t like.
71. Be Open-Minded. Be ready to
accept different beliefs, attitudes, personalities, cultures, practices,
rituals, lifestyles, habits, races, nationalities, diets, etc, for everyone is
different. No one thing is right; it’s just a matter of what works best
for the individual.
72. Be Optimistic / Positive. For life is too short
to be negative.
Don’t complain.
Complaining generates all this negative energy that makes you no different than
an energy vampire. While it’s okay to vent every once in a while, be conscious
of the times when you do that. Cut down on the time you spend complaining and
think about what you can do about the situation instead.
Smile. How often do you smile a day? Smiling is something we
don’t do enough. Whether you’re out on the streets or at work, it’s more common
to see people with stoic expressions and hard frowns than smiles. The next time
you see someone, even a stranger, smile at him/her. You’ll be surprised how
many people will return the smile. Even if they don’t, trust that they have
been warmed by your smile.
Laugh. As they say,
laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at the jokes people make, at the
obstacles you’re facing, at the mistakes you’re making, and at the mystery that
is life.
73. Be Organized. The state of your life now reflects
how organized you are. If everything is constantly
in a mess, it suggests you’re probably disorganized in how you manage yourself.
In being organized, you create structure, stability and predictability – which
frees up your resources to pursue new goals. Creating a life handbook will help
to organize your life.
74. Be Patient. Do you get edgy when
something/someone is late? Time is fluid; it’s a construct created to help us
organize our schedules. Learn to be present and live in the moment instead.
Impatience breeds anxiety; Patience brings calmness.
75. Be Peaceful. Where you have a choice, go for
peace over violence. The latter solves nothing, but creates more pain. The
former is the start to a healing journey.
76. Be Persistent. No matter what you do, never give
up. You will achieve whatever you set out to do, as long as you have the will
to do it. My story of how I pursued my passion and turned it into a successful
business is an example of that. The only time when giving up is the way to go
when your priorities change and you realize the goal you were pursuing isn’t
what you want anymore. Read: Quitting to Win
77. Be Prudent. Be bold
and daring, but at the same time exercise caution. A touch of
practicality never hurt anyone; it helps you to be more ready for what’s ahead.
78. Be Purposeful. Pursue a cause that’s higher and
larger than you. When you do that, you’ll naturally grow into someone who’s
bigger than who you are today. Pursuing my purpose to help others grow has made
me embark on journeys and make decisions which I wouldn’t have pursued if I was
just living my life for myself. Read: Discover Your Life Purpose in 30 Minutes
79. Be Reasonable. Know your rights, but don’t overstep your boundaries. Act within good
reason – You’ll be the best judge to that.
80. Be Repentant. Has there been anything you did
that you’re not too proud of? Repent and process it; don’t leave it inside your
system, because it’s like rotting flesh – it’ll create an invisible stench and
affect you subconsciously in your daily actions. Read: Be a Better Me in 30
Days Program, Day 24: Right a Past Wrong
81. Be Resilient / Be Strong. Are you facing any
obstacles that are making you waver in your goals? You have the strength inside
you to do whatever you want – you just have to draw from it. Read: How to Start
When You Have Nothing
82. Be Respectful. Treat everyone with utmost
respect, because every living being deserves that.
83. Take Responsibility.
Live up to your responsibilities.
What responsibilities do you have? Are you living up to all your responsibilities?
Shrinking away from your tasks is an act of avoidance. Stepping up to them
makes you a better person.
Don’t self-victimize.
It’s easy to say “Why me?” when bad things happen. But it does nothing to build
your character – in fact it makes you weaker over time, because you’re not
taking ownership for your problems. Believe it or not, everyone faces these
problems too – it’s not exclusive to you. Rather than wallow in self-pity,
accept your problems as part and parcel of life and address them. The more
responsible you are, the more control you have over your life. Read: You Always
Have A Choice
84. Be
Self-Loving.
Be Kind to yourself. Do you often beat yourself up? Stop
doing that. You, above all else, deserve kindness and respect from yourself.
Love yourself. For when you love yourself, you will
automatically start loving others too.
85. Be Self-Reflective. I make a habit to reflect on
everything that happens to me, because that’s when I can draw lessons on what I
can do better in the future. Self-reflection can take place via a private
journal, an online diary, or conversations with others. Asking yourself the
right questions is paramount in the self-reflection process.
86. Be Sensitive… to others’ needs and feelings.
Always check to make sure you’re not neglecting anyone.
Don’t Impose. Imposing means to
force your opinion on others. It’s okay to offer your opinion, but if
others are not taking it, then there’s no need to repeat it over and over
again. Keep it to yourself.
Don’t give unwanted advice.
One biggest problems people face in relationships is when the other party tries
to dispense advice that’s not needed. Many times, people converse as a way of
sharing. Check if the other party is looking for advice first before you try to
offer your 2 cents. It may help prevent unnecessary conflicts.
87. Dedicate yourself to Service. It’s said that
service to others is the highest thing one can ever do in life. Think about how
you can contribute to others and to this world. And dedicate yourself to it.
88. Be Sharp. Develop
your observation skills. Sharp people are always the first to catch on
to something; because of that they’re ahead of everyone else in their thinking
too.
89. Be Sincere / Genuine. Speak from the heart,
always. Don’t say something unless you mean it. One of my core values is
authenticity – I only say things that I mean, and never say things if I don’t
believe in them.
90. Be Spontaneous. Be uninhibited! Allow yourself to
act freely, without restrictions. Not everything has to adhere to a plan all
the time. Allow yourself to just go with the flow.
91. Be Sympathetic. If others are sharing their
problems with you, be sympathetic. Don’t jab in with insensitive remarks. Don’t
dismiss their feelings and thoughts. Get yourself into the same state as them
and express your sympathy, so they know they’re not alone in the situation.
92. Be Tactful. There’s no need to be rude or
abrasive. Be polite to your fellow humans – everyone has feelings, even if
sometimes it may not seem that way.
93. Be a Teacher. You don’t have to be a formal
teacher in name – The very act of sharing knowledge to someone is already
teaching in itself. By teaching others, we become better. What are things
you’re good in? Share the knowledge with other people. Start by doing it
informally, and soon formally teaching others will be second-nature to you.
94. Be Trusting. Always give others the benefit of
the doubt. No matter what you think, the baseline intention of people is always
good. No one deliberately does something to harm others. When they do, it
usually comes from a place of lack, but not out of sheer malicious intent.
95. Be Trustworthy. Always
honor your commitments and uphold your promises. If you make an
agreement with someone, be sure to stick through to it.
96. Be Unattached. For all things are transient in
life. This doesn’t mean you become jaded and an emotionless being. What this
means is you relish in every moment of your life,
every situation you’re in, every person you’re with, as it is, without clinging
on to it when it has passed. For we live in the present, not the past or
future.
97. Be Understanding. Learn to comprehend things from
others’ perspective. A common understanding is needed for relationships to be
built on.
98. Be Vigilant. While the world is a safe place by
and large, keep a watch out for possible dangers, especially when you’re in a
foreign place. Keep a look out for suspicious
people. Stay clear of potentially dangerous spots. It’s better to be safe than
sorry.
99. Be Visionary. Set the highest goals and the
biggest dreams you can imagine. Then set off and bring your vision to life. Be
sure to create your vision board too at the same time.
100. Be Vulnerable. Through PE, I’ve learned that
sharing our vulnerabilities is what gives us the greatest strength as humans.
In the past few years, I’ve opened up about some of my deepest vulnerabilities,
including my relationship with my parents, my past heartbreak, my
disappointments, among others.
101. Be Wise. Being wise means “having the power of discerning and judging properly as
to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion”.
Practice good judgment by exposing yourself to different contexts; considering
different perspectives; gathering as much information as you can; weighing out
different possibilities. The more experience you gain, the more you learn, and
the wiser you’ll become.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment